Aaaaaand of course what is a quirky art blog run by a freshly graduated artist with identity and mental health problems BUT a BLOG?!?!?!?
this is going to be a healthy mix between writing like a story and writing like the shit I post on Tumblr when I'm spiraling. so: semi-scripted, correct spelling and occasionally correct grammer, BUT the scripting will be coming from the heart and I'm not gonna act like my life has secret themes everywhere. I'm just chilling and putting my own life through a character study. some might call that rumination . . . which it is . . . but at least it's manic pixie rumination . . . or smth. end paragraph
In a week, I won't be a student anymore. Or, at least, I won't be a classic student. I'm sure learning of any kind makes you count as a learnee, but trying to get a bartending license isn't quite the same as being one of the 5% of college students with ADHD to actually get their degree. Though I'm sure mine was a lot easier to obtain than, say, a medical major. Still. BFA in animation is nothing to sneeze at!
I'm slowly getting ready and prepping for this summer. I've been calling it my "midlife crisis" because I'm already going to be surprised if I make it to 30, much less 46. So why not actually reward myself with some bullshit creative projects and a bit of actual fucking rave partying for once in my life? I wanna get as fucked up as I feel like, I've never gotten to do that and I really think I deserve it. Also drag and bullshit, but for a hot minute, mostly partying.
I've started a new project, it shouldn't take too long to make. It's an autobiography documentary about my baby's first trauma, my subsequent fall and recovery. It will be entirely recycled. During that time, I really kept to myself (since I considered venting/asking for help as inherently harmful to the people I loved - the doc will explain why), but I wrote EVERYTHING I was feeling down. Video scripts, goodbye letters, diary entries, songs, fanfics, youtube comments, scripts for skits or comics, recordings of myself breaking down. I had a lot of big feelings and a lot of really wise behavior, and it's all saved in little pieces literally everywhere. So this documentary is essentially going to be a reading of all of that, or at least just about. I'm planning on scraping through an old tablet for old scraps, but otherwise it's basically done at 55K words and counting. I do want to use my degree for something though, so I'm going to make the OST and visuals really experimental and fun. And, of course, I'm going to try to show that the story that is my life did have a happy end to that era. I want to make this to show others that there is a future after. Even if you don't feel like you deserve it, even if you think it could never happen. There is a future after.
Also, I want to finish up the first ep of Heart Stop soon. Crazy how trying to create this sequel got me back into watching anime. I've decided that all the nightcore music will be taken from the Pripara franchise (I'll be singing over it karaoke-style to make it less likely to get shot on sight by youtube policy), but after listening to the music enough times I started expanding to all pripara music, and now I'm watching the series. I've also started enjoying Kpop for the first time ever and getting back into project diva songs, so this really awokened something within me. Wish me luck as I fully transform into an anime girl, skinsuit and all.